and i'm done.

done holding back.

in full grief and mourning mode

now, for the next 4 days

where is it

where is my heart in all this

i feel as if ive lost it

as if its yet to be replaced

emotions

feelings

nothing

i need more

away away i'm away from home

thankful for some space

some time

and some fiction

i think i know i'm depressed

when i listen to instrumental music

and make up my own

pathetic lyrics and prayers

this might be

this is definitely

one of those times

i need friday to come

i'm truly an idiot

it won't work out the way

i've wanted it to

or planned

but You've got it

right?

You'll take care of it

of it all.

four deep conversations today

this is what i was made for

this is what i live for

thank You

these relationships are from You

and even more

they're for you

You love them

thank You

i love what You're doing

i have no idea where this is going

where you're taking me

but my hand is in yours

and i'm allowing this

drag me, pull me, whatever need be

i'm ready, or at least i want to be