it would seem
that nothing would go right

it would seem

that i can't do anything

but it's not that way

things will get better

things will change

right?

it doesn't seem to matter

when it all piles up

it's just as big

as it was before

the time

the wait

the stress

the tears

the same equation

the same difference

nothing changes

even when it should

trying and failing is all i seem to do

the world around me stresses

the world within me cries

am i doing what i'm supposed be doing?

am i going where i'm supposed to?

is God pleased with my decisions?

what about my actions?

even worse, my motives?

is He?

I'm not.

I'd give anything and everything to change.

to be happy.

to be free.

to be completed.

murderous

murderous

is the pounding in my head

i cannot think

much less comprehend

anything i hear

my eyes water

and run

like my nose

breathing is laborious

and takes it all out of me

nothing more to give

i cannot speak

my voice can only whisper

nothing to say anyway

what am i even looking for?

why am i still looking for it?

the fog

the fill

within

cloudy

muggy

blocking it all

no exit

stuck inside

no release

so sick

so tired

drained