if i'm to believe

if i'm to trust

then i need your strength

and your peace to do so

i need you close to me

i want you to help me

to hold me

to whisper to me

to kiss me

and remind me

that You do and You can and You are

i'd like to read more.

my goal is to read all the harry potter books by Christmas

and i thought maybe

it's not automatic

my heart, that is

it's not voluntary

this way

control and freedom

are both things i must surrender

pressure makes me wilt

but can it make me flourish

i want to wait

i might even want to change

the next step

if there is a step at all

i won't make a move

until You say

i won't change a thing

i won't pursue

until You say

the hope

the hope

i never have hope

keep me steady

keep me strong

on Your path

away from temptation

away from trouble

in Your hands

your motives

are questionable

my heart

could be in jeopardy

unless surrendered.

here and now

it is.

same goals

same love

this could be awesome

but scary

i'm looking forward

to what you have, Yahweh

i'm praying for Your hand

Your will, Your heart

in this

i trust

You

am i thriving

or merely surviving

and where is my heart

in this

all the sin

and the anguish

day to day

my heart sinks

new beginnings

false hopes

may they fade

away away away

and i haven't got a clue

not even a hint

of what comes next

of what is to come

i'm praying for it

praying for it all

my heart is anchored

anchored in You

to You, and for You