can't seem to catch my breath
or catch anything
can't catch up

heaviness about it all
my heart
my soul
me.

i feel wasted
i feel desolate
and yet there is hope
beyond this

right?

it all reminds me
random things

i want spring. i want to run

i don't want to feel
this

this anger and confusion

this hurt.

i already miss you.

this. us.

i get it. but i don't.

can i even say it's broken
when it was never in full repair

can it end
if it never was to be

you. why me.
so soon.

i can't even be what i expect myself to be, so how i can i expect you?
i don't know who i am, so do i know you?

i at least want to try to know both myself
and to know you

i want to be something else
something better
less of a failure
and more loving
more understanding
more trusting
and more adapting

but i'm not there yet
and obviously neither are you.
so where do we go from here?

i don't
know
i can't
begin

to say
the happiness
and joy

yes
me
leila
go figure

i'm trusting You
lead me.
us.
yes.