scattered
broken
scarred
haphazard

these describe me

ignoring
fleeing
sleeping
forgetting

all the things i shouldn't be doing

trusting
knowing
loving
caring

4 things i don't do enough

all the things i need to do
are all the things i do not do

i can't escape the feeling that it will one day end
and i will not be loved
and that no one will give a fuck
and that...

i'll be alone.

why does this matter so much to me? i don't know why i fear being alone. i wish i did. i know that God will never leave me. but i can't help but crave companionship. i want a man by my side and next to me in bed every morning.